Throughout our lives, there are moments when we feel caught between two elements: two ideas, two choices, two people, two versions of ourselves, maybe even two worlds. In those moments, it seems not only impossible to go in a specific direction, but it also seems impossible to make a choice as to which of those two elements/options is the most suited for who we are, what we want, and what we need. Some, like me, blessed and cursed with the quality of overactive thinking, will also have a million different ideas crisscrossing in our brains. This, in turn, will cause us only more confusion as we slowly watch the complex spiderweb of thoughts form in our mind. The real question that we actually face in these moments is the following: Are we the spider, spinning the web strategically with purpose, or will we become the prey, eventually trapped in the web, unable to escape?
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This is my silent struggle. This is me, caught between.
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(This specific blog post was written one sleepless night, after an emotionally-exhausting day catching up with friends and family about their lives, and after much contemplation of my own life. The burden one bears for the struggles of people they love is heavier and more complex than we are sometimes able to express. Therefore, attempting to express the struggle of processing the thoughts/emotions from my day into written words was simply another attempt at dealing with said thoughts/emotions. Maybe now I can fall asleep.)
