Tomorrow, I will be venturing off on my winter vacation to Thailand and Cambodia. I'll be spending about a week in each country. When planning the trip, I realized how utterly blessed I am to even have the opportunity to travel to these countries. This thought still overwhelms me with humble appreciation, happiness, excitement, and many other emotions. If you would have asked me a year ago what I would be doing at this exact moment (Monday, Feb. 12, 2013 9:02pm) I would have probably given you a much different answer from the reality of the situation. I never would have expected to be sitting in my quaint apartment in South Korea, full of nerves, going over whether or not I fit everything I need for my trip into a small backpack.
That's where the whole "change" thing comes into play. My life has changed so drastically in one year that it sometimes stops me in my tracks and takes my breath away. I believe at this time last year I appeared to be a well-put-together person who had everything going for her--an amazing job, a beautiful apartment, good friend as a roommate, healthy, etc etc. And, well, that was quite different than the truth. Yes, I did have an amazing job with incredible students (who by the way I miss VERY much), but that was about the only thing that was well-put-together in my life. My job was my life, and the moment I drove away from it each day, I fell apart.
Watching your indiviudality, all those emotions, interests and characteristics that make you YOU, disappear before your eyes, and having no idea how to find them again, is one of the scariest experiences I've ever had. I knew I was lost but had no idea which direction to even look in. All I knew was that I needed change...and I needed it desperately. Fast forward to now. Now, I look at my life and realize how much of an impact change can have on a person. Each day we have different experiences that change us. Today, I woke up a slightly different person than yesterday; tomorrow, I will be a slightly different person than today.
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As I sit here typing this, I am aware that a big change is about to come. I've heard mixed things about both Thailand and Cambodia--great food, amazing beaches, elephant trekking (ahhh!), ancient ruins, extreme poverty, heartbreaking sights, food poisoning, and the list goes on. I try not to absorb everything I hear, because traveling to these places can and will have a different impace on everyone. But, what I do know is that when I come back from the trip, I will be a different person. I can't tell you how or in what ways these changes will occur, but with any trip to somewhere new--all the excitement mixed with challenges--a person is bound to come back just a little different. For example, after my first trip to S. Korea, even though it was only a month, numerous people said that I had changed. They didn't know how to explain or what details to provide, but they knew something was different. And, though this trip will only be two weeks, I know I'll be doing and seeing things that I could never have even imagined. So, it's strange for me to sit here right now and think that I will never again be the exact same person that I am in this moment. The next time I update my blog, I will be writing with newly broadened eyes and mind, thus changing my perspective.
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Though I'm extremely nervous about my trip and have no idea what to expect, I hope for one thing: that I take in every sight, every smell, every sound, and every emotion that I experience. I know I'll see some of the best and worst things I've ever seen, but I am also aware that having these types of experiences (ones that have enough impact to change you) is what makes life more "full". And, what more can a person want than a full life?
So, I say goodbye to you now as the woman I am at this very moment, and I look forward to speaking to you again as a woman who, tomorrow, will be different. :)
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| Having fun with some of the children at Soryang Orphanage. |
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| Art time at Soryang Orphanage. |
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| Friends, coffee, art, and laughs! |
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| My Korean-style cellphone case. |
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| Loving city life. |
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| Yes, that's Tom Cruise. Yes, I met him/talked to him. He was in Busan promoting his new movie. Strange things happen in Korea. |
